Ok, first things first. I kinda lied about the last post. Sorry, it's just the nature of my mind right now. But I was just thinking about what love is, and what it means to truly, really love someone. I think that it's when all the walls come down, and all the posturing stops, when you are willing to give someone all of you, not just the parts that sound good, or look good on a resume (just imagine the accent over the second e for me, won't you?) but every part of you that you really love them. And it's when they are willing to accept those parts or love them as well, that they truly love you. This is also why people hate silence when talking to someone they are interested in or with whom they are infatuated. If I remember it correctly, there's a line from Pulp Fiction that goes, "That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence."
Silence gives room for thought, which means that the other person could react unfavorably to the previous action or statement. So when there's silence, we want to figure out what the other person is thinking so as to mollify the coming negative reaction. But it's when we truly love someone that we no longer care. We show ourselves for who we truly are, knowing that we will be accepted. Dr. Joyce Brothers once said, "Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable."
I was thinking that this is what I want. I want to be able to show a girl the chaos and insanity that is my mind, and know that she accepts me for who I am. I want to be able to have no walls, no security and to hold nothing back. I want to be able to give her all of my heart and know that I can trust her with it. I was thinking that I was getting tired of waiting for that. But then I realized that this, more than anything else, is worth waiting for.
