"What is the meaning of your life?" (Kathryn's birthday post)

Ok, so after a bunch of delays and some sickness (that I'm currently still battling), I can finally get to this. An early follower of mine had a birthday last week (happy belated birthday, Kat), and as her present, I told her that she could ask me any question she wanted and I would answer it here. This girl, not one to mess around, asked me:

What is the meaning of your life?

Yeah. She swung for the fences on this one. So what is the meaning of my life? Well, I could give you the easy stereotypical Christian answer. I could quote Bible verses and throw in some PTL's and Hallelujah's and whatnot. Believe me, even though I haven't spoken it for a while, my native tongue is not English, it's Christianese. I'm still fluent. But that's just lame and cheesy and totally not what she was getting at, so I'm not gonna do that. 

Instead, I'm going to say this: if Kat had asked me this question even a year ago, much less when we went to school together, I would've had to tell her I didn't know and leave it there. But now, I have a better understanding of what I want to do with the rest of my life. When I was at Concordia, I didn't what I wanted to do. I was there for pre-veterinary schooling, on the track to med school. Unfortunately, that actually wasn't what I wanted to do. I eventually failed out of Concordia (twice) before I even started thinking about what what I wanted from my life. Not what I thought my parents wanted, not what people expected from me; what I wanted.

At this point, I really had to think about what I wanted. It was then that I got the job I currently have as a tutor. I love this job. Teaching children feels like something I was born to do. Author and YouTuber John Green was asked in one of his videos what the meaning of life was. His answer? "Other people."

I'm inclined to agree with him, and that is why I've decided that the meaning of my life is helping people. So there you go. The meaning of my life is helping other people, specifically young people, through their lives. I try whenever  I meet people to leave their lives in a better state than I found it, if I ever do leave. That, to me, is what gives my life meaning. But come back and ask me that question again in 3-5 years. We'll see what I say then. 

DmC Demo Review and Impressions

Merry Christmas, everyone! I typed this up while my internet was out, and right before that was when this demo came out. I'm just putting it up now because A. I can now and B. because everyone who wants to play the demo surely has by this point and has formed their own opinion. So here's mine. 
 

 Everyone hates the new DmC game from Ninja Theory, right? I mean, this is the most hate and vitriol I've seen aimed at a video game since the Grand Theft Auto Hot Coffee mod scandal or hell, the ending of Mass Effect 3. I had been hearing fans of the original Devil May Cry series (Joe and Rachel, I'm looking right at you) hate on this game for months, even before it even had a playable build when Dante-- the brand new, black haired, smoking Dante-- was revealed. I still had hope; I told people "Hey, back off. This is just younger Dante, Dante back when he was just realizing how much of a badass his father was and he's trying so hard to live up to that that he just looks like a kid trying too hard to be a badass." But the hate continued, even after an early trailer that, to me at least, looked pretty solid.

So I kept defending this game, waiting to pass judgment until I had at least gotten my hands on a demo, which released earlier this month. But now, I have played the demo, and the time has come. For those of you that haven't played the demo, here's part one of Maximilian's (of Assist Me fame) playthrough.

Now, the thing about reviewing this demo is this: it's split up into two parts that serve two different purposes. Part one is called Under Watch and part two is called Secret Ingredient. Part one is a tutorial, and part two is a boss battle, just to let you know what those are like in this game. So I figure that since the demo itself is split into two parts, I'm gonna split this review into two parts. Fair? Well, if you said no, tough. I'm doin' it anyway.

Under Watch

This is basically a standard opening level that introduces you to the world and storyline of DmC. You see a cutscene giving you some background right before you start and it is at the end of this that we see Dante for the first time... naked, pale white Dante (Why, Ninja Theory? Why?). This level is really nothing special as far as demos go; it's here to ease you into the changes to the combat system and get you accustomed to how things work now. You throw some enemies in and there you go. I have to say, the controls feel great here. It actually feels like this Dante was made for Marvel 3 instead of the old one. All of this Dante's weapons and movement options flow together and feel very natural once you get used to the control scheme. That is neither the end of this demo nor the end this review though, so sit tight.

Secret Ingredient

This level is where the glaring problems start to become apparent: story and dialogue. The gameplay here is just as solid as the first level, and this boss battle feels just like Devil May Cry games back when Dante's hair was still white. That is, until the boss and Dante start having a conversation. There is an exchange that Dante and the boss have that goes exactly like this:

Boss: Fuck you!

Dante: No, fuck you!

Boss: FUCK YOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU!!!!!

Not exactly Shakespeare, is it? I'm not even asking for Shakespearean prose here, but Ninja Theory has already given us quite adequate dialogue in Heavenly Sword (even though that game was too short). The dialogue that is written for the boss is just childish; I rolled my eyes three or four times playing this level. 

Ninja Theory, come on. You can do so much better than this. You're a big name in this industry; we should've been ecstatic to hear that you were taking this beloved franchise over. Instead, we have murky uncertainty as we fans try to figure out whether this is a reboot, a prequel, or a completely different series stealing the Devil May Cry title and some character names. I'm not laying all the blame on Ninja Theory; I play UMvC3 competitively, I know Cashcom has had some shady business practices recently. I'm just saying that we could've had something much better than this. Please just take this game back and delay the release a few months and rewrite it. Don't touch the gameplay, just make the dialogue not make me want to hit myself in the head with a hammer. Please, Ninja Theory, so I won't have to listen to the "I told you so" 's of the naysayers when it comes out and I can enjoy this game. Please?

"Why are you posts always so long?!" --Anyone who reads this blog

I always get asked this question. I've even been told that in order to increase my readership, I should shorten my posts. I understand this, and I actually agree that most people don't want to see a really long post. They probably don't have time to read all of it, even if they wanted to. I know this, and everyone who takes the time to read this probably knows it, too. So the question remains, why are all my posts just so damn long? Well, whenever I read a blog and I start reading about someone's experience or someone's opinion and the post is just a scant half page, I just leave... unsatisfied. I want more. I want to know the thoughts behind the opinion. I want to know WHY someone thinks what they do. I want someone to explore what they really feel about their chosen subject.

THAT is why my posts are so long. I want to give every part of what I think and feel and believe. I don't want anyone who leaves after reading my blog to feel like I just left something unexplored, or even worse, that I'm hiding something. I hope it's worked thus far. Thank you for reading.

Sexism in Gaming: Pointing the Finger

Wow. This is a heavy one. I actually thought this subject blew over and I was too late, but no. People are still talking about this, which tells me that anytime is a good time to talk about this.Strap in and grab a snack, because it's gonna be a long one. Here we go...

If you look at a lot of articles that talk about this subject, you see a lot of the same thing, in my opinion. You see a lot of men and male gamers and the patriarchy being blamed for the depiction of women in video games and the treatment of female gamers. And while that is completely legitimate and true, there's also another side to the coin that people never explore. Now, before I actually start, let me say this. I am, in fact, male. I'm a guy who plays video games, so everything I'm about to say will probably sound like an effort to get the blame and the spotlight off of me and onto something else. But that very attitude (you know, the one that says that if I think the blame doesn't lie totally with people like me who act this way, but also with the reasons they act this way, then I'm just trying to pass the buck) assumes that I, personally, and every other male gamer are to blame for this phenomenon. I, personally, have done nothing to any female gamer. Hell (sorry Lydia), I'm dating one. But since I play video games and I have a penis, I have to apologize for what these other idiots did. That's not ok.

Now, that's not to say that there isn't blame to go around. Over at Kotaku, there are tons of examples and discussions of sexism in gaming, and video games themselves. Blogger Katie Williams wrote this article about an experience she had at last month's E3, where she walked up to multiple booths to play a game slated to come out later, and a representative of each company offered to play the game for her because they assumed that she wouldn't understand or even know how to play because she's a woman. She was even guided to Facebook games instead of PC or console offerings because the assumption was that, as a woman, that's what she'd be interested in. She even says at one point "I was assumed to be eye candy, the pretty face of a publication whose content was provided by people with actual talent." She has a few other posts (which you can find here and here) dealing with subjects like this, even one dealing with questions and backlash from the original.

Continuing on with this theme of women being eye candy,  Harris O'Malley wrote another article on Kotaku called Nerds and Male Privilege Part 2: Deconstructing the Arguments. His take on the subject is a bit different, especially considering that he himself is a male gamer. About halfway through the article he says something interesting in response to comments that he received saying that women who wanted better representation in video games (and any men who agreed with them) wanted to end the existence of sexy female video game characters:

"Realizing that drawing all of your female characters with 36DDD tits and posing them in physically impossible ways in order to show off their boobs and ass at the same time while wearing dental floss costumes might be a little offensive to women is hardly the same as saying that you're not allowed to enjoy sexy art or that sexy art shouldn't be allowed. Similarly, campaigning for female characters who are more than "Hero's girlfriend" or "Fan-Service Station Attendant" doesn't mean that there can't be femme fatales or even characters who are there for titillation."

I agree with this. There are really dumb, meathead male characters in video games who have no real motivation and feel no emotion other than bloodlust and anger (Kratos, Marcus Fenix, and Duke Nukem to name a few).note: I'm aware that Duke is a parody and not to be taken seriously, but I'm listing him anyway But there are characters like Ezio Auditore, Dante,  and Jak that actually do feel emotion and are multi-dimensional that serve to balance the bad ones out. Likewise, there are a great deal of really sexy, meathead female characters in video games with no real motivation other than to be sexy (every DOA girl, Juri from Street Fighter IV, etc.). But there are actually very few female characters that balance these out that aren't being argued about every 20 minutes (Samus Aran… that's pretty much the only one I can think of off the top of my head).  I've recently come to the conclusion that that most of the women who write these articles and make these videos (Anita Sarkeesian, I'll get to you in a minute) aren't saying that the sexy characters have to go. We can keep them. But I think that all they want are more characters that are multi-dimensional, fleshed out (pun intended, thank you very much) characters to balance them out. And if that's the case, then I'm with them. Balance is key, here. 

Now, I mentioned Anita Sarkeesian.Yes, I do have a problem with Anita Sarkeesian. Yes, I do think that her series of videos about sexism and the portrayal of women in video games is going to be terrible. But that's not because I just want her to leave us alone and let us guys have our fun; it's because I've watched her other videos and I'm personally afraid that she's going to blame everything on men, like she does in many videos of hers that I've watched. She just seems so quick to blame problems on men oppressing women and men wanting to control women at every turn, like men are just wringing their hands at the next opportunity to screw women (in every possible colloquial sense of that word). Like all we ever think about is "How can I make women look stupid and have sex with me?". She seems about a step away from saying "If you have a penis, you're part of the problem." And that is what scares me, not game devs changing how female characters are written or how they look, in fact I'm in favor of that.

The objectors are definitely right. There needs to be a change, and it's needed badly. But, before we start blaming people, let's look at what may be behind this, at least to some degree: advertising. Does everyone remember that Carl's Jr. commercial with Paris Hilton eating a cheeseburger while wet, soapy and writhing around suggestively on a car she's washing? Or for those of you who spend waaay too much time on the internet, how about the ads for an online game called Evony? You know, the ones that got skankier and skankier, finally almost implying porn when all you actually got when you clicked on them was a really bad RTS (Real-Time Strategy, for anyone who doesn't know) and a couple of viruses. Or how about decades of car magazines with women in bikinis draped over the hoods of sports cars, or the horrors of Axe body spray commercials, or this classic Pepsi ad with Cindy Crawford?  

 

For those of you counting, it takes 34 seconds to actually see a can of Pepsi. The commercial is only 1:01 long. Here's a question, what does Cindy Crawford being hot have to do with a can of Pepsi? Here are some more: What does Paris Hilton writhing around on a car have to do with a cheeseburger? What do those women in bikinis have to do with the cars they're on? What does a giant pair of breasts have to do with a strategy game? There's one answer to all of them: absolutely nothing. It does tell us something, though. It tells us that ad executives think that men are so stupid that they'll buy anything as long as there's sex involved. The marketing divisions of multiple multi-billion dollar corporations think we're stupid. That's it, we're idiots; we are incapable of buying anything based on rational thinking and logic. No, we have to be tricked into doing it because we saw that hot chick shaking her butt on the moving picture box.

Now, I'm not trying to completely excuse male gamers and PR representatives for what happened to Katie. But when you're a young boy and you grow up with this, and you also grow up being told that women hate what you love to do and that no woman will ever want to spend time with you because you're a gamer, what else are you supposed to think when a woman shows up at a gaming expo? What else is a young man supposed to think when he sees a woman doing something he's been told all his life no woman would ever want to see him do? When the stereotype of someone who plays video games is that he's never had sex and that he has no clue how to even begin to talk to girls, there's no way a male gamer's idea of women won't be a bit skewed. Like I said, I'm not trying to excuse their boneheadead (pun intended) behavior. I'm just trying to give a possible reason for thinking this way. 

As a member of the Fighting Game Community, there is one more example that I would be remiss not to address: the actions of Aris Bakhtanians during Cross Assault. There are so many articles and points of view on this incident that it's hard to pick one. But I'm going to, and it's right here.

For those of you who didn't read the article, Capcom started what basically amounted to a reality show called Cross Assault to publicize the release of their (at the time) new game, Street Fighter X Tekken. The gist of the show was that players were split into Team Street Fighter and Team Tekken and the teams would compete against each other, eliminating players until there was only one left who would win $25,000 (New York native TS NerdJosh ended up winning). One contestant on Team Tekken, Miranda "Super_Yan" Pakozdi, was playing when Aris, the coach of Team Tekken, started making lewd comments about Super_Yan  and taking control of the camera and focusing and zooming in on her breasts and butt. This treatment caused Pakozdi to forfeit and drop out of the competition. After this, Aris was interviewed on the stream and answered the question "Can I get my Street Fighter without sexual harassment?" with this:

 You can't. You can't because they're one and the same thing. This is a community that's, you know, 15 or 20 years old, and the sexual harassment is part of a culture, and if you remove that from the fighting game community, it's not the fighting game community—it's StarCraft. There's nothing wrong with StarCraft if you enjoy it, and there's nothing wrong with anything about eSports, but why would you want just one flavor of ice cream, you know? There's eSports for people who like eSports, and there's fighting games for people who like spicy food and like to have fun. There's no reason to turn them into the same thing, you know?

Wait, what? Yes, he did say that. I can't believe it either. Well for those of you who are not part of the FGC, let me tell you that this is not true. In my experience, sexual harassment is NOT an integral part of the FGC. The FGC is not a divisive community, but an inclusive one, one that is made up of all races and socioeconomic classes. The FGC is by and large a community that emphasizes skill over sex, race, or class. If you're good at your chosen game, or at least sincerely want to be, you are readily accepted. If you want a good look at what the FGC is really about, take a look at these videos.

 

Shin Blanka announcing the death of his mother in front of attendees at Final Round XV and an interview with the supportive father of a 14-year old tournament participant

  RedRapper's tribute to the history of arcades in the FGC, and to the FGC in general

After the Aris incident, the Fighting Game Community got a lot of attention. Even now, months removed from this, we are still being looked at under a microscope. Our every move is being watched. Because of this, because of the actions of some execs at a booth at E3, because of the actions of a few many idiots on Xbox Live, people think we're just sexist jerks. But the truth is, we're not. We are so much better than that. We are so much more than that. I'm not saying that the sexism isn't there and that it isn't detrimental to our growth and even our continued existence to an extent, but I am saying that there is more to us than that one dark spot. What drives the (definitely mostly male, but also racially and socioeconomically diverse) FGC is passion. We are passionate, we are ardent, we love what we do. 

To bring this whole thing home and wrap it all up, I really think that the discussion of sexism in videogam(ing)es is approaching dangerous territory. I look in the comments sections of very well-written and thought out articles and all I see is venomous vitriol violently vacating (alliteration is fun) the mouths and keyboards of people who don't like the opposition to something that they see as almost necessary to the enjoyment of their pastime. I really think that the sides in this argument need to stop pointing the finger (see how I brought that back around and tied that in there?) and start trying to get at the underlying problems that may shape these thought patterns that everyone wants to change in order to get to a place where we can all play videogames and just have some damn fun. Because that's all we really expect out of our games. Not sexism, not the start of a gigantic argument, not flame bait. Fun. And that's all we should get.

Joe Meenan-"Is the luxury of an item more important than it's potential to be enjoyed?"

This... is really difficult. This is a hard question to answer, mostly because of how important both are in considering the purchase or value of any item or experience.Well, let me start at the beginning, then. I was recently in a conversation on facebook about luxury cars, dream cars, cars that one would only buy given an exorbitant amount of money. Or an amount commonly accepted as exorbitant. The initial question was the title of the (in the opinion of some, needlessly) famous Lloyd Banks track "Beamer, Benz or Bentley". My reply was D: none of the above. Instead, I said that I would much rather have either a Ford GT (a car with a legendary racing pedigree, but admittedly a bit light on luxuries and extras) or an Aston Martin DB9 (a car with both a gigantic engine and a very luxurious interior). Now their responses aside, this is an interesting question. Would I rather have the sheer speed of the Ford or the lesser speed, but greater luxury and comfort of the DB9? My answer to that one? Well, I would have to go with the DB9. Given that two items or options are of equal quality, the question becomes simple: is the luxury option better than the fun option? Simple isn't easy, though. A more luxurious version of the an item does not make said version better than the previous model (ie., adding 3D to a TV's new model does not necessarily a better TV make). To be perfectly honest, the only way to answer this question is on a case by case basis. Look long and hard at that new TV, and think before buying that new car just for the new GPS system in it. It is not what is had, but what is enjoyed that makes life beautiful. Hey, look at that. I think we have our answer, kids. Enjoy what you have. Buy what you need. Do what you love. And drive a Ford GT at least once (heh heh heh...).

Paul Blackmon- "Why is your favorite genre of music your favorite genre of music?"

Ok, you know what guys? I'm changing the schedule. I'm going to post on Saturdays, now. I do it that way anyway, so I might as well make that the day. Just like last time, watch (well listen to in this case, but you know what I mean) the video first, then read the post. Ok? Ok.

Ok, you guys done? If that video didn't answer your question, then I will: my favorite genre of music right now is hip-hop. Now let's get this out of the way: "LOLOLOL HE'S BLACK, OF COURSE IT'S HIP-HOP TROLOLOLOL". We done? Good.

Now, I've said that my favorite genre is hip-hop, but the question is why that is so. Well, we'll have to go back pretty far for that. When I was much younger (I'm 20 now), from about 6-10 years old, I was only really exposed to gospel music and some R&B. A lot of Kirk Franklin, Hezekiah Walker, Yolanda Adams and Mary Mary (and all the church kids in my readership just punched the air), along with the occasional smattering of Stevie Wonder, Sam Cooke, Teddy Pendergrass or The Spinners (most of you will know who one out of those four people is, but that's fine, just look the rest up). Well, at the time, my older (by 15 years, so it's a considerable gap) brother was living with us. My brother loved hip-hop and played it all the time, as well as listening to it in his Walkman every time he went out (yes, Walkman; we're talking about the late 90's here). Well, my parents didn't like what he was listening to, or at least, didn't like me listening to what he listened to. So for a while, I thought of hip-hop as something inherently wrong or something that would get me in trouble. So when I was about 12 and found out that Christian hip-hop existed, I was confused. I thought "This music that has so many bad words and things that my parents don't want me hearing is Christian, too? WHAT? *sound of 12-year-old mind being blown*" So at that point, I asked my mom to get me my first hip-hop album, KJ-52's It's Pronounced Five-Two. Now, I was totally blown away by this. It felt really familiar (remember, almost all of the rhythms in hip-hop come from gospel and R&B, so I'd heard them before), but it was still completely different from anything I'd heard. It sounded like my brother's music, but wouldn't get me in trouble (which as a 12 year old is really your first concern). Now for a few years, everything progressed in that fashion. Christian hip-hop was what I always listened to, and artists like Toby Mac, KJ-52, and later B.Reith were on perpetual repeat on my iPod.

That is, until I got to high school. In my freshman year, I heard a lot of things I hadn't heard before. I was really exposed to secular music, especially hip-hop, for the first time. Most of it I didn't really like (as is the case now), but some of it really caught my ear. Artists like Lupe Fiasco (I had only heard Kick, Push by this time, but I really liked it) and OutKast had had spots on my music list for a couple years, but only one or two songs (again, I wanted to stay out of trouble with my parents, but still listen to what I wanted). Then sophomore year, my brother left the house suddenly (those who know me know why, and those who don't just don't, and I'd like to keep it that way). Well, like any kid who is suddenly without his big brother, I missed him like crazy. He'd been literally four steps away for years, and now he's gone. It occurred to me that my only connection to him was hip-hop. I started actually listening to his music in secret, waiting until my parents were asleep or out of the house. The funny thing was, it wasn't all bad like I thought it was. I quickly learned that hip-hop is just like everything else, there are examples of high-quality and low-quality and of appropriate and helpful subject matter and inappropriate, detrimental subject matter everywhere.

That brings us to post-graduation, when my brother came back. By this time, I had really grown to appreciate hip-hop as an art form, and had started to see the history behind it. And there was a period where I wanted to show that to him, to get his approval for my taste in music. So I did; every time I found something I'd think "would he like this? would he approve of this?", and if my answer was yes, I'd show it to him. Every time I showed him something or played something for him, I was nervous. His opinion meant everything to me; it was like if he didn't like what I was playing, he didn't approve of me, and I needed him to approve of me. He's my big brother, of course I want that, right?

Well, that didn't go so well. After a while, it started to tire me out. I spent so long wondering what he thought about my taste in music, and me in general, that I wasn't me anymore; I was a younger him, and that isn't good. Like I said in the previous post, one need only be oneself to be "real", and I wasn't doing that. So I realized that I needed to put less emphasis on what he would like and more on what I like.

That brings us to now. I love hip-hop now because of the passion in it, because of what happens when someone puts their entire soul in a verse. I love hip-hop now because of how it evolves and changes into something different when you tweak it a little bit. I love it when people try to defend and stay true to what hip-hop was, but I also love it when people try to push the boundaries of what it currently is. I hear a lot of people say two things. Number one is that hip-hop is dead, that years of being bastardized and watered down in order to make it marketable has broken it beyond repair and that it can never go back to the way it was (part of the message of the poem Hip-Hop Lullaby by Phil Kaye, which is right below this paragraph. Go ahead and check that out ^_^)

Number two is kind of an offshoot of number one. Number two is that hip-hop has no value now. It's just some idiot saying the same vapid crap over and over on a terribly simple (or even worse, overly sampled) beat. This kind of blanket statement ignores artists like XV, whose song Everybody's Nobody is the song you heard in the video up at the top, or like Lupe Fiasco, who is one of most lyrically deep hip-hop artists in the business today (an argument can be made for him being the single deepest artist). I agree that hip-hop has problems. I agree that it has been sacrificed at the altar of the free market, just like blues and Rock 'n' Roll before it. But it is not dead. It's in the ICU right now, but it's not dead. Artists like Dumbfoundead and Wax on the secular side and Theory Hazit and Braille on the Christian side are rhyming their hearts out, but no one hears them. That is the problem with current hip-hop, that talent is not being heard. That which has the ability to make tons of money is what is being heard. And that is what needs to stop if hip-hop is to be what it was: a powerhouse that shaped an entire generation and culture in this country. Hip-hop to me has always been proof positive that anyone can be heard, anyone can express themselves. Don't have the money to buy an instrument and learn to play it? That's ok. Just grab a pen and some paper and get to writing. Hip-hop to me is truly open to everyone. Anyone can pick it up, but you will only be accepted if you prove your skill. That is why I love hip-hop. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle (and if anyone gets that reference, I will buy them a cheeseburger).


 

Lydia Bennet- "What makes a REAL man? What makes a real woman?"

Ok, before you start reading, I just have one thing to say. I'm a day late on this one, and I know that's a bad start to a blog series. Sorry about that. But this one's good, guys. I promise. 

Ok, so before you read this, I want you to watch this video up here. Don't worry, I'll wait. *taps his toes and looks around* Ok you done? Alright. So, I was asked what makes a real man/woman. We'll start with "real man". The question of what makes a real man has been around since men could identify themselves in such a way. Commercials for products aimed at men try to tell men what it means to be a "real man". I, personally, am a Christian, and the Bible also tells men what it means to be a "real man". Well... I have something a bit different to say. There is NO SUCH THING as a "real man". Life is much to diverse for that to be possible.

Now, I know what you're thinking. What do I mean by "NO SUCH THING"? Well, the problem with saying that a certain set of traits makes a man a "real man" is that in so doing, anyone who does not possess those traits is not a "real man", no matter what the reason is for that absence. So what are those people? Those people possess a Y chromosome, so they are genetically male (which is a sticky subject in itself, what with gender identification being very personal, so we'll stick with that definition of maleness). Most people would say "A real man is someone who, you know, 'mans up' and takes responsibility for his actions". Well, that's all well and good until you think about it. Shouldn't we all do that? Shouldn't any human being who makes a decision and takes action take responsibility for the consequences of that action, whatever they may be? If your answer was yes (and I worry about you if it wasn't), then why is taking responsibility for one's actions specifically a manly trait? Why are things like courage, bravery, coolness under pressure and decisiveness immediately associated with men, when women can be and are each and every one of those things every day across this country?

As a man myself, I am sold a vision of what true manliness is hundreds of times a day by commercials for beer, deodorant, soup, razors, and countless other products who want to make me "look/feel/smell/eat/have sex with women like a man". As Guante says in this video, that makes no sense. It's totally degrading, which is something that women figured out years ago and got stopped. Why have men not done the same? The corporate marketing machine would have me think that if I'm not clean shaven, buying and using deodorant (so women will like the way I smell, and therefore have sex with me), eating a specific brand of soup, and sometimes having sex with women on a regular basis, I am not a "real man". To those of you who know sme, I pose one question: does this ring true to you? To those who are men or have a man in their lives who does not do these things, does this ring true to you? Are these people not real men? Are males who decide "you know what, I'm gonna be me and not care what other people think about that" not real men?

The same can be said for you ladies, I think. There is NO SUCH THING as a real woman. I've seen a lot of people point to pictures of Christina Hendricks and Scarlett Johansson and Sofia Vergara and say "Ah, see? THOSE are real women!" Well, not so fast. I understand the message here: the supermodels we see in magazines are all airbrushed and Photoshopped to Hell and back to look even skinnier than they already are. That natural skinniness itself was (we think) obtained in an unhealthy manner. These women are reversing that trend and showing people that it's ok to have curves as a woman. And, in my personal opinion, that's a great thing. Ladies (and keep in mind, I have a girlfriend), listen to me. Curves are ok, in fact, curves are AWESOME. However, it is not ok to tell women and girls who do not have curves and who are naturally skinny no matter what they do that they are not real women and can never be real women because of their body shape. Isn't that idea what women have been fighting for years to try to eradicate? The idea that a woman can be tossed aside and turned into a "background character" as Guante put it for more curvaceous women and marginalized like that is astounding in 2012, yet we still continue to operate as if it's Gospel.

So you might be asking yourself right now, "Ok, that's great. But what should we do, then?" I'll tell you what you should do. BE YOURSELF. That's right. Be yourself. Your awesome, completely individual, totally unique, hand-crafted self. You are here for a reason. Be you. Be proud of who you are and strive to make yourself into a better version of yourself, not to be a "real man" or "real woman". Be a better you. If we all do that, the idea of a "real" anything will be left in the dust of our present as we press forward toward a brighter future.