Lydia Bennet- "What makes a REAL man? What makes a real woman?"

Ok, before you start reading, I just have one thing to say. I'm a day late on this one, and I know that's a bad start to a blog series. Sorry about that. But this one's good, guys. I promise. 

Ok, so before you read this, I want you to watch this video up here. Don't worry, I'll wait. *taps his toes and looks around* Ok you done? Alright. So, I was asked what makes a real man/woman. We'll start with "real man". The question of what makes a real man has been around since men could identify themselves in such a way. Commercials for products aimed at men try to tell men what it means to be a "real man". I, personally, am a Christian, and the Bible also tells men what it means to be a "real man". Well... I have something a bit different to say. There is NO SUCH THING as a "real man". Life is much to diverse for that to be possible.

Now, I know what you're thinking. What do I mean by "NO SUCH THING"? Well, the problem with saying that a certain set of traits makes a man a "real man" is that in so doing, anyone who does not possess those traits is not a "real man", no matter what the reason is for that absence. So what are those people? Those people possess a Y chromosome, so they are genetically male (which is a sticky subject in itself, what with gender identification being very personal, so we'll stick with that definition of maleness). Most people would say "A real man is someone who, you know, 'mans up' and takes responsibility for his actions". Well, that's all well and good until you think about it. Shouldn't we all do that? Shouldn't any human being who makes a decision and takes action take responsibility for the consequences of that action, whatever they may be? If your answer was yes (and I worry about you if it wasn't), then why is taking responsibility for one's actions specifically a manly trait? Why are things like courage, bravery, coolness under pressure and decisiveness immediately associated with men, when women can be and are each and every one of those things every day across this country?

As a man myself, I am sold a vision of what true manliness is hundreds of times a day by commercials for beer, deodorant, soup, razors, and countless other products who want to make me "look/feel/smell/eat/have sex with women like a man". As Guante says in this video, that makes no sense. It's totally degrading, which is something that women figured out years ago and got stopped. Why have men not done the same? The corporate marketing machine would have me think that if I'm not clean shaven, buying and using deodorant (so women will like the way I smell, and therefore have sex with me), eating a specific brand of soup, and sometimes having sex with women on a regular basis, I am not a "real man". To those of you who know sme, I pose one question: does this ring true to you? To those who are men or have a man in their lives who does not do these things, does this ring true to you? Are these people not real men? Are males who decide "you know what, I'm gonna be me and not care what other people think about that" not real men?

The same can be said for you ladies, I think. There is NO SUCH THING as a real woman. I've seen a lot of people point to pictures of Christina Hendricks and Scarlett Johansson and Sofia Vergara and say "Ah, see? THOSE are real women!" Well, not so fast. I understand the message here: the supermodels we see in magazines are all airbrushed and Photoshopped to Hell and back to look even skinnier than they already are. That natural skinniness itself was (we think) obtained in an unhealthy manner. These women are reversing that trend and showing people that it's ok to have curves as a woman. And, in my personal opinion, that's a great thing. Ladies (and keep in mind, I have a girlfriend), listen to me. Curves are ok, in fact, curves are AWESOME. However, it is not ok to tell women and girls who do not have curves and who are naturally skinny no matter what they do that they are not real women and can never be real women because of their body shape. Isn't that idea what women have been fighting for years to try to eradicate? The idea that a woman can be tossed aside and turned into a "background character" as Guante put it for more curvaceous women and marginalized like that is astounding in 2012, yet we still continue to operate as if it's Gospel.

So you might be asking yourself right now, "Ok, that's great. But what should we do, then?" I'll tell you what you should do. BE YOURSELF. That's right. Be yourself. Your awesome, completely individual, totally unique, hand-crafted self. You are here for a reason. Be you. Be proud of who you are and strive to make yourself into a better version of yourself, not to be a "real man" or "real woman". Be a better you. If we all do that, the idea of a "real" anything will be left in the dust of our present as we press forward toward a brighter future.